WheN You’Re FiNallY PregNanT

one fine day, period was delayed and like most couples, we tested using the home test kit. and yup, it was positive, we’re pregnant!

we collected my first urine of the day in a disposable cup and placed the dip stick in and waited. when it’s time to look at the result, i couldn’t do it. i was terrified!

i stood by the bathroom door as hubby checked the result. he was quiet and as he turned, he said “dear, it’s positive. we’re pregnant.” he was very happy and had a big smile on his face.

hearing that, i went “oh.” i was stunned and couldn’t believe my ears.

hubby realized that something was not right and so he came over and comforted me. all i could say was “i don’t know” and “i’m scared”. it struck me that i was going to be a mom and that i knew nothing about it. this little one is going to be depending on us and i was not sure if i could handle the great responsibility. i started crying and was having mixed feelings. i was happy that we’re finally gonna be parents, yet i was so, so scared…

so yeah, that’s the ugly truth, that not all experiences are the same. do not expect everyone to be hopping in joy and screaming in excitement like how it’s usually portrayed in the movies. they’re movies, honey, MOVIES… so if you do cry like me or do not appear as excited, no worries because you are absolutely normal. it’s something major and your life is about to change forever. it’s understandable and there’s nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed by the whole experience and new responsibility that comes with it.

anyway, after the initial excitement and settling in, we called our families and shared the great news. life goes on or so we thought! not long after that, i started noticing some unusual rashes on my skin. they appeared like mosquito bites but hundred times the itchiness! and it gets worse in the evening. i would sometimes awake in the middle of the night due to the severe itchiness. numerous visits to the doctors could not fix the condition. eventually, i was referred to a dermatologist.

the first thing he asked was about my feelings when i first discovered that i was pregnant. asked him why and what does that have to do with my skin condition. smiling, he repeated his question. as i shared the story, he smiled all the way. he then told me that the rashes are actually stress hives and that he will prescribe me with some cream and pine tar shower gel to reduce the itchiness. yet the best cure would be to relax and try to come into terms with the pregnancy and being happy about it, and they will go away in no time. and they did!

conclusion : i thought i was ready... i wanted this baby... we have been trying for a while now and this is exactly what we wanted. but even with that, i ended up developing stress hives! so i have to admit this - they are right, you will never be ready. just get on with it and you’ll do just fine!

DeCiSion To StarT A FaMily

i used to wonder… when would be the best time to start a family? how would i know when i’m ready to be a mommy?

the answer given by most people that i spoke to was “you will never be ready! just get on with it!”  

i was like “it can’t be… there must be something that tells you when you’re ready, maybe a gut feeling or something… perhaps age?”

the usual reply : “you will be ready once you have your baby”

~~~~~~~~~~

the pressure builds up with time. every casual conversation would eventually dwell into the topic of “when is your little one coming?” holiday seasons will sing “see your baby next year ya?” i’m sure all these sound very familiar to you.

i even got this in the office pantry one day… can you imagine? we were having lunch at the big table one day with lots of others either sitting around or moving around making drinks and so on… a female colleague in her 50’s out of good intention asked “when do you plan to have a baby? are you trying already?” thanks to that, all eyes fixed on me.

with utter awkwardness, i replied, “errr… maybe next year. i don’t think we’re ready.”

“don’t wait… you should start now... do you actually think it’s that easy to conceive? that once you want it, you’ll get it? you would, if you’re lucky and everything goes well. but what if you turn out to have some problem, if you start early, there’s more time for you to fix the problem. rather than to only seek help 10 years down the road. it’s too late… you’ll be old...”

then who and who started telling me their own set of stories of how NOT easy it is to conceive.

~~~~~~~~~~

given all that, we decided to wait after all - for the right time and for us to be ready!  hahahaa...

all that said, i eventually have to agree with them that you will never be ready. trust me, i’m speaking from first hand’s experience! i was full of doubt myself, remember? check out my next posting for the full story!

SiGns oF AllerGic ReAcTion To FoOD

here are some of the signs that a baby could be having allergic reaction to a new food.

• sudden loose, diarrhea stools and/or vomiting
• sudden rashes on the skin and bottom
• runny nose
• hives
• irritability and/or gassiness
• breathing or other respiratory troubles
• swelling of the face, lips and/or tongue
• closure or tightening of the throat

should you have just introduced a new food to your baby and he/she is showing any of these signs, get help immediately! don’t wait!

ToP EigHt FoOd AllerGens

the following food allergens account for an estimated 90% of allergic reactions :

• cow’s milk
• egg whites 
• peanuts
• tree nuts (e.g. : almond, cashew, walnut)
• fish (e.g. : bass, cod, flounder)
• shellfish (e.g. crab, lobster, shrimp)
• soy
• wheat

rule of the thumb is that introduction of these foods should be done gradually and in stages, one at a time, and by watching for any sign of allergic reactions. by doing this, parents can easily pinpoint the culprit rather than to have a whole long list to scratch your head over.

it is also best to introduce new foods during the day as this will enable you to spot and deal with any adverse reactions when help is readily available. imagine the stress of trying to look for a pediatrician should an allergic reaction arise in the middle of the night!

SiGns ThaT YouR BaBy Is ReaDy fOR SoLiDs

curiosity about what you’re eating

• begin eyeing your plate of food
• reach for a spoonful of food as it travels from the plate to your mouth
• point to your food and ask for it while drooling away
• bottle-fed baby may stop midway and point to your food instead

growing appetite

• seems more hungry than before
• wake more frequently for feeding at night
• begin to eat non-stop (cluster feed) as he/she once did as a newborn

tongue reflex

• losing the extrusion reflex which is “designed” to prevent your baby from swallowing any foreign matter which he/she may be choked upon and in this case, solid food which his/her body is not ready to accept
• to keep solid food in his/her mouth and then swallow it, your baby needs to stop using his/her tongue to push food out of his mouth

physically

• able to sit upright when supported
• also able to keep his/her head in a steady position to swallow well

WheN To StaRT IntRoDucing SoLiDs

breast milk or formula serves as babies’ main source of nourishment for the first 6 months of their lives. after the initial 6 months, parents may start to introduce solids to complement feedings.

however, this 6 months’ mark serves only as a general guideline as different babies may vary in their readiness for solid food. look for signs in your baby for indication... yes, babies are more complicated than you think! but how can you tell?  fret not, your baby will tell you.

OutCome of Room SepaRation 2

ok, i failed... i failed terribly...

i walked into the room, looking at the empty space where baby girl's cot used to sit. my heart sank...

lights went off, hubby said good night and gave me a peck on the forehead and went to sleep. me on the other hand, continued staring at the space, feeling somewhat sad... the feeling got more and more overwhelming that tears started rolling down my cheek... i missed my baby terribly...

i reached for the tissue and hubby realized that it's devastating me...

he asked, "what happened, dear?"

silence... 

"baby, tell me..."

sobbing got louder...

"you missed baby huh...?"

"yeah..."

"then how...?"

"i don't know..."

"do you want me to bring her back in here...?"

"no..."

"we could do it again another time..."

"no..."

"why not? you're missing her so much..."

"we've already gone this far. to bring her back in would be to reverse her progress..." 

hubby agreed in silence and held me tight... yet i couldn't stop crying...

"would you wanna sleep in her room tonight? would that make you feel better?"

"maybe..."

"ok, let's go."

he got up and led me to baby girl's room. brought in a mattress, pillow and blanket for me...

"would you want me to stay here with you?"

"no, i'll be fine... you're tired, go back to sleep..."

and so he gave me another kiss good night on the forehead and left.

i lied there in the dark, listening to baby girl's breathing, feeling relieved and peace... then before i knew it, i dozed off...

OutCome of Room SepaRation

ok, baby girl is up from her first nap in her own room and she doesn't seem to be affected by it at all. so she's ok. i'm the one who is not ok. guess i'll need to learn how to let go...

but we shall see what happens tonight. maybe i'll move her baby cot back into our room after all. hehehee...

BaBy GirL's First Nap In Own RooM

while I'm writing this, my baby girl is going through a huge milestone - i.e. napping in her own room for the very first time and i am missing her already...

miss having her there calling me after i'm out from shower at night and playing peek-ka-boo and stuffs while i'm applying my creams. miss going to sleep with her next to me. and i miss taking naps together...

also miss having her waking up in the morning, checking if i'm up already. should i still be sleeping, she'll lie back down and play with her toys. then after a while, she'll come back up and check again if i'm awake already. most of the times, i'd just pretend to sleep just to have her do it over and over again. till when she's really bored, she'll call me again... "mie-mie?" then i'd pick her up, saying good morning and giving her tons of morning kissies. and she'd give me the sweetest smile ever in return...

this is really hard for me... yet i can't have her sleeping with us forever, right?

dear hubby at the same time, is not helping at all! i was cool at the beginning of this post. and he had to bring up the subject while drinking his afternoon coffee and munching on snacks. smiling there, looking at how emotional i am about the whole thing... i dun like him, wicked. and now, he's kissing me on the forehead and telling me that it's gonna be alright...

ForeWord

my baby girl is now 13 months old. how time flies? it only seems like yesterday when i was pregnant with her.

at this age, she's can be quite persistent and is constantly testing her boundaries. she is always full of energy and never sits still, unless when she's sleeping (duh!). every single second is well-spent exploring her world, up and down, left and right - every nook and cranny, you name it! one of her most favourite activity is climbing up the staircase. we can never take our eyes off her because you'll never know what she's up to next. even our 3-year-old maltese is wary of her. imagine that!

everyone is telling us that an active baby is good because it's an indication that she's healthy and happy, and that not sitting still means that she's constantly learning about new things and developing well. we should be glad with the way she is. true... yet deep down inside, we sometimes hope that she could be somewhere in between. you know, active enough but a bit more ladylike. i sometimes envy parents with demure and gentle looking baby girls!

anyway, in case you're wondering, i'm a working mom. so during working hours, baby girl goes to a daycare centre near hubby's office. after work, we'd pick her up and spend the rest of the evening together - just the 3 of us. weekends are mostly spent catching up on sleep or doing household chores.