OutCome of Room SepaRation 2

ok, i failed... i failed terribly...

i walked into the room, looking at the empty space where baby girl's cot used to sit. my heart sank...

lights went off, hubby said good night and gave me a peck on the forehead and went to sleep. me on the other hand, continued staring at the space, feeling somewhat sad... the feeling got more and more overwhelming that tears started rolling down my cheek... i missed my baby terribly...

i reached for the tissue and hubby realized that it's devastating me...

he asked, "what happened, dear?"

silence... 

"baby, tell me..."

sobbing got louder...

"you missed baby huh...?"

"yeah..."

"then how...?"

"i don't know..."

"do you want me to bring her back in here...?"

"no..."

"we could do it again another time..."

"no..."

"why not? you're missing her so much..."

"we've already gone this far. to bring her back in would be to reverse her progress..." 

hubby agreed in silence and held me tight... yet i couldn't stop crying...

"would you wanna sleep in her room tonight? would that make you feel better?"

"maybe..."

"ok, let's go."

he got up and led me to baby girl's room. brought in a mattress, pillow and blanket for me...

"would you want me to stay here with you?"

"no, i'll be fine... you're tired, go back to sleep..."

and so he gave me another kiss good night on the forehead and left.

i lied there in the dark, listening to baby girl's breathing, feeling relieved and peace... then before i knew it, i dozed off...

OutCome of Room SepaRation

ok, baby girl is up from her first nap in her own room and she doesn't seem to be affected by it at all. so she's ok. i'm the one who is not ok. guess i'll need to learn how to let go...

but we shall see what happens tonight. maybe i'll move her baby cot back into our room after all. hehehee...

BaBy GirL's First Nap In Own RooM

while I'm writing this, my baby girl is going through a huge milestone - i.e. napping in her own room for the very first time and i am missing her already...

miss having her there calling me after i'm out from shower at night and playing peek-ka-boo and stuffs while i'm applying my creams. miss going to sleep with her next to me. and i miss taking naps together...

also miss having her waking up in the morning, checking if i'm up already. should i still be sleeping, she'll lie back down and play with her toys. then after a while, she'll come back up and check again if i'm awake already. most of the times, i'd just pretend to sleep just to have her do it over and over again. till when she's really bored, she'll call me again... "mie-mie?" then i'd pick her up, saying good morning and giving her tons of morning kissies. and she'd give me the sweetest smile ever in return...

this is really hard for me... yet i can't have her sleeping with us forever, right?

dear hubby at the same time, is not helping at all! i was cool at the beginning of this post. and he had to bring up the subject while drinking his afternoon coffee and munching on snacks. smiling there, looking at how emotional i am about the whole thing... i dun like him, wicked. and now, he's kissing me on the forehead and telling me that it's gonna be alright...